Ron Paul Facts!
These are FACTS about Ron Paul, science proved them and myth busters confirmed them all. don’t question it.
- Ron Paul invented Chuck Norris.
- Ron Paul doesn’t go the gym. He stays fit by exercising his civil rights.
- Ron Paul delivers babies without his hands. He simply reads them the
- Bill of Rights and they crawl out in anticipation of freedom.
- Ron Paul has no alarm clock, but instead wakes every morning to the call of freedom.
- Ron Paul lost his virginity to Susan B. Anthony.
- Ron Paul doesn’t cut taxes. He kills them with his bare hands.
- Jesus wears a wrist band that says “What Would Ron Paul Do?”
- Ron Paul doesn’t sleep. He deliberates.
- I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Ron Paul.
- If you pull Ron Paul’s finger, a band will march by playingyankee Doodle Dandy.
* If Ron Paul were a comedian, he would kill us all with laughter by
literally splitting our sides open.
* The Pentagon once had 6 sides…until Ron Paul got his hands on it.
* Ron Paul’s didn’t design the Vietnam memorial, but he carried it.
* The Declaration of Independence is printed with Ron Paul’s blood.
* Ron Paul has been shot at more than a dozen times, but the
“pro- 2nd Amendment” bullets refuse to harm him.
* When Ron Paul takes a shower, he doesn’t get wet…the water gets
Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul’s evil twin could no longer live the lie. He just donated
$250 to Ron Paul 2008.
* Ron Paul turned down Superman’s job.
* Ron Paul took a lie detector test. The lie detector tapped out.
* Ron Paul’s idea of Gun Control is both hands on the weapon.
* Ron Paul speaks in the universal language of love.
* Ron Paul doesn’t believe in continents.
* Ron Paul is Bill Maher’s hero.
* Ron Paul beat Atlas in an arm-wrestling match.
* Ron Paul can fly, but doesn’t because its unconsitutional.
* Ron Paul holds the single-season homerun record.
* Ron Paul is 9 feet tall, but the weight of his conscience makes
him look shorter.
* In the dewey decimal system, Ron Paul is 1.00.
* Like a duck’s quack, Ron Paul’s voice doesn’t echo.
* Ron Paul is an impermiable membrane.
* God calls Ron Paul for advice.
* Ron Paul declared war on the war on drugs.
* Ron Paul uses tax returns of US citizens as toilet paper.
* Ron Paul is an element on the periodic table.
* Ron Paul supplies enough power to light Las Vegas for 15 years.
* Ron Paul is a constitutionalist because he wrote the Preamble.
* Greek myths acknowledge Ron Paul as the supreme being.
* Ron Paul has so many morals, he has to pay for two seats on a plane.
* Ron Paul reproduces asexually.
* Ron Paul is like kryptonite to Rudy Giuliani.
* Ron Paul has two first names…and is proud of it.
* Ron Paul wants to create the perfect currency backed only by his love
of freedom!
* Ron Paul is an anagram for “Freedom” (but only he knows how).
* Ron Paul doesn’t pee. He liberates urine.
* Ron Paul could lead a horse to water AND convince it to drink, but he
doesn’t believe the government has the right to so he refuses.
* Ron Paul’s motorcycle is powered by global warming.
* Ron Paul has a regenerative healing factor, retractable claws of
freedom and a skeletal system comprised of adamantium
encased liberty.
* Ron Paul’s midi-chlorian level is off the chart.
* Ron Paul has delivered over 4,000 babies, what makes this
particularly remarkable is that they were all his own.
* Chuck Norris voted for Ron Paul in 88… twice.
* King Midas shook hands with Ron Paul once. Nothing happened.
* Ron Paul makes the U.S. dollar want to be a better currency.
* Ron Paul’s hemoglobin contains stainless steel, not iron.
* Ron Paul has only noble gas.
* When Chuck Norris gets scared, he goes to Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got one.
* Ron Paul emerged from the womb wrapped in a flag of no more
than thirteen stars and stripes.
* Rather than use his powers for evil, Ron Paul uses his powers
for awesome.
* Ron Paul knows dozens of words that rhyme with “orange”.
* Ron Paul is wiser than Dumbledore.
* In space, you can hear Ron Paul scream.
* Ron Paul made the apple fall on newton.
* According to biblical prophecy, Ron Paul will part the Potomac
and lead the fiscal conservatives out of Washington, DC.
* The government tried to steal once. Ron Paul made it sit in time out.
* Ron paul actually trained the Geico gecko to speak with that accent.
* Ron Paul’s pen is mightier than his William Wallace broad sword.
* Ron Paul doesn’t have bowel movements because is doesn’t waste.
* Ron Paul gets high on freedom.
* Dogs lie down with cats when Ron Paul speaks.
* Oil and water spontaneously mix when Ron Paul speaks.
* Ron Paul wears running shoes so he can chase down “tax and
spend” Republicans & rip their hearts out with his bare hands.
* Ron Paul can turn water into the American Flag.
* When applied directly to the brain, Ron Paul instantly
cures socialism.
* Ron Paul doesn’t act like a patriot, a patriot acts
like Ron Paul.
* Studies by the World Health Organization show that
Ron Paul is the leading cause of freedom among men.
* Ron Paul’s tears can shrink government. Too bad he never cries.
* Ron Paul wasn’t born. He liberated himself from the womb.
* While not a proctologist, Ron Paul will save this country’s ass.
* Ron Paul has two speeds - walk, and liberate.
* The chief export of Ron Paul is liberty.
* Ron Paul doesn’t write books. The words assemble out of fear.
* Ron Paul turned down Superman’s job.
* Waldo cannot hide from Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul named his fists “Freedom” and “Justice”.
* Ron Paul refuses to drink tea…only water from Boston Harbor.
* Ron Paul let the dogs out. They were being held without due process.
* The price of gold is pegged to Ron Paul’s “good cholesterol” level.
* Ron Paul can smell government spending a mile away.
* Ron Paul knows dozens of words that rhyme with “orange”.
* Ron Paul blew up both Death Stars, but the media spun the facts
in favor of Luke and Lando.
* It was going to be called the Paul of Rights, but Ron Paul
is a humble man.
* Ron Paul can believe its not butter.
* When fascism goes to sleep at night, it checks under the
bed for Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul personally approved this fact.
* Ron Paul was the OB that Delivered Chuck Norris.
* Ron Paul can stop Global Warming with one roundhouse
kick to the sun.
* Ron Paul can recite pi to 1776 decimal places.
* Ron Paul is able to leap tall stacks of congressional
legislation in a single bound.
* Ron Paul played the role of V in the movie, “V for Vendetta”.
* Chuck Norris was a Liberal until Ron Paul kicked some
sense into him.
* Before Rudy Giuliani goes to bed he checks his
closet for Ron Paul!
* Ron Paul defies the Laws of (Political) Science!
* In Braveheart, Mel Gibson was originally supposed to
scream “RON PAUL!” however, it was changed to just “Freedom!” for legal reasons.
* Ron Paul knows how LOST is going to end.
* On the 0th day Ron Paul created God and Ron Paul
said it was “aiight”.
* The Constitution was printed in Ron Paul’s blood.
* Ron Paul taught Jesus how to walk on water.
* Ron Paul has a natural non-stick, Teflon coating.
* Ron Paul could make soccer interesting.
* Good: Old Doc Paul’s Constitution Salve.
Bad: Fast Rudy McRomney’s Preemptive Suppositories.
* Hannibal Lecter is not interested in Ron Paul’s liver.
He would, however, like to know more about Ron Paul’s plan to abolish the IRS.
* Ron Paul did not invent the Internet. He invented bits.
* Ron Paul makes King Leonidas’ fight look like child’s play.
* Ron Paul named his fists “Freedom” and “Justice”.
* Ron Paul’s experience as a Gynecologist gives him the best
credentials to fix the BUSH Administration.
* Ron Paul can recite pi to 1776 decimal places.
* Ron Paul taught John Wayne how to ride a horse.
* Ron Paul taught Yoda how to use the force.
* When the going gets tough, the tough get Ron Paul.
* If guts could fight, they would fight their Ron Paul out.
* Ron Paul once went on a wild goose chase, and caught the goose.
* Ron Paul can kill two birds with one stone, but
doesn’t because he is against violence.
* Ron Paul knows how many licks it takes to get to the
center of a tootsie pop.
* Ron Paul taught his old dog new tricks.
* Ron Paul can strike out a batter in two pitches.
* Illegal immigrants willing go home and get
into line for Ron Paul.
* Chuck Norris and Ron Paul were once WWE Tag Team Champions.
* Ron Paul lives in a house made of integrity.
* Freddy Kruger has nightmares about Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul is so fast he can steal home plate, but his conscious
won’t let him do it.
* While playing poker, Ron Paul once drew five of a kind.
* The Chicken crossed the road to vote for Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul delivered over 4,000 babies. What is remarkable is
that they were all on time, as promised, and under-budget, unlike the Post Office.
* Ron Paul eats Total Gyms for breakfast.
* Ron Paul’s constituent particles are free to go at any
time, but stay together by unanimous mutual consent.
* The Constitution was printed in Ron Paul’s blood.
* Gold is backed by Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul hates Raymond.
* …and on the seventh day, Ron Paul said “I’ll take it from here.”
* Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of government?
Ron Paul knows.
* Ron Paul once had an arm-wrestling contest with Superman.
The loser had to agree to wear his underwear outside his pants.
* If Ron Paul had lived in Sparta, the movie would have been called “1″.
* Ron Paul destroys big governments with laser beams from his eyes.
* Every time Ron Paul farts, the Liberty Bell rings.
* The original pledge of allegiance ended with “Liberty, and Justice
(and Ron Paul)”
* Ron Paul spam is neither edible nor nutritious.
* In Soviet Russia, Ron Paul votes for YOU!
* Ron Paul can, and does, believe it’s not butter.
* Ron Paul founded the Pony Express.
* If guts could fight, they would fight their Ron Paul out.
* The comic strip “Captain America” is Ron Paul’s biography.
* If Truthism was a recognized religion, Ron Paul would
be it’s only Prophet!
* Ron Paul is in talks with ABC to produce a new show…
“Extreme Makeover: Country Edition.”
* A Klondike bar would do anything for a Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul’s mother is the Statue of Liberty.
* Ron Paul’s heart is literally made out of gold. This
greatly upsets the Federal Reserve.
* Ron Paul is an anagram for Our Plan.
* Ron Paul’s taught Johnny Cash “one piece at a time”…
* Ron Paul is a freedom magnet.
* Ron Paul was an OB-GYNin his private practice. But in
congress, hes a proctologist.
* Yes, Ron Paul stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
* Ron Paul has bigger balls of steel than Duke Nukem!
* Ron Paul doesn’t need to eat. He feeds off of Senator
Clinton’s fear of him.
* Ron Paul saved Jericho!
* Ron Paul knows how much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
* The sun will go blind if it stares at Ron Paul.
* Ron Paul uses the Libery Bell as an alarm clock.
* Ron Paul splits atoms….with a butterknife.
* Ron Paul once held a Congressional inquiry regarding the
2000 budget. There were no survivors.
* Ron Paul once turned a blank tape on full blast. The mime
next door went nuts.
* Chuck Norris has a list of 5 people not to mess with.
Ron Paul is all of them.
* Ron Paul’s house has a drawbridge.
* Ron Paul was born 72 years ago, but he is only 45.
* Ron Paul is so manly, he grows hair on his fingernails.
* Ron Paul does not believe in a tax on income. He does, however,
believe in a tax on crying.
* Ron Paul got a hip replacement just for fun.
* At sporting events, most people stand during the Star-Spangled
Banner. Ron Paul levitates.
* Ron Paul’s car doesn’t turn left.
* Ron Paul is made up of 100% EPIC and 100% WIN.
* Ron Paul can take every cent from George Stephanopolous’
pocket and turn it into gold with his bare hands.”
* Ron Paul eats the U.S. tax code for breakfast.
* Ron Paul is one of the Ancient immortals called upon by
Heaven in times of crisis.
* Sliced bread is the greatest thing since Ron Paul.
* A 500-foot-tall Ron Paul did not attack Tokyo with
radioactive breath. (That would be initiation of force.)
* Ron Paul is not watching you.
* Ron Paul doesn’t write books. The words assemble
together because it is in their economic interest to do so.
* When Ron Paul was married, Thomas Jefferson was his best man.
* Ron Paul knows kung fu; Chuck Norris fakes it.
* Ron Paul knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
* Ron Paul does not drive a car. The earth rotates in accordance with
wherever Ron Paul wants his car to be when he steps out of it.
* Ron Paul has a 10-hit combo move known as “The Bill of Rights”.
* Ron Paul has bigger balls of steel than Duke Nukem!
* If you listen to The Beatles backwards, you can hear Mitt Romney
say “Ron Paul is ahead…”
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